Memoirs of an Addict
by a young ex-drug addict
On a cloudless night, in solitude I lay.
The heavens above silently watching me pray,
dear Lord help me as my heart has gone astray
my will to live and hope for joy are slowly fading away.
My heart is ambushed by unbearable pain, I seek answers only Thou can explain
I stare at the skys anticipating God’s reply
Disappointedly I sigh and realize the answers are hiding behind closed eyes.
In the darkness of my mind a light emerged and in the echoes I hear my name
A beautiful shadow then gripped my hand and we set out on a journey down memory lane
My life had flashed in m mind, a collage of misty scenes
I searched for episodes and my mind got carried to my early teens….
Lonely I was searching like crazy for answers.
My search ended, drugs were my fave new toy!
My love for drugs each day kept growing stronger
but weed didn’t satisfy me any longer.
A perfectionist I am to find the perfect love
I began experimenting
But drugs was unfaithful
A few years later and the pursuit wasn’t ending.
I broke up with drugs which I considered my first wife
A few years later the girl of my dreams entered my life
Finally it seemed life had been kind to me
Little did I know, I was just being tricked by destiny
I was blinded by love, a new person I had become
to see her smile, anything in the world I would have done.
Once again, my bad luck triumphed and my only true love I lost
With pain and tears I had to pay the cost
Suicidal I became
tired of constantly having to bear such pain
My life showed no mercy
Loads of sorrow I had, yet again
Heartache and tears without choice I had to bear
Who could I have complained to and told it wasn’t fair?
From who could I have expected concern and care?
The answer was drugs, my first affair…
I overlooked al of its betrayal, and surrendered to Kat
Why shouldn’t I, when people gave me more sorrows then crystal meth?
But once again drugs cheated me
broke its promise of satisfaction till eternity.
Extremely disheartened I am
unable to trust
doesn’t matter what I do or what I must.
Answer me oh Lord, for I am lost
to get some contentment what will it cost?
To the drugs I loved I kissed goodbye
yet in solitude I often hear my heart cry.
Please give it back to me
the people who care and I misunderstood
let them know my choices
May have been bad but I’m good at heart
Grant me a companion that will never leave my side
someone to love me unconditionally for what I am inside
I am a desperate soul.
I seek some love, please answer this prayer my dear Lord above
My mind still isn’t completely clear
but just talking to You has made me feel light
I know in my heart that only Thou has the power to set things right
Today I accept Thee out of love and not fear
for this conversation has made me realize
that Thou art the only friend who shall always be here
